A Trigger

We all know what a trigger is different from person to person and how many triggers we have are also different. Some of us actually don't even know what their triggers are yet. It takes alot or searcing and digging to find them but they are there. Unless you are one of the other kind of addict and I have two categories. The first one is an addict because they are trying to escape a feeling or event or can't deal with life in general. The second is just a person that nothing bad has never happened to them but they just like to get high.
You're probably wondering where I'm going with this but I'm the first category. I've had some traumatic things happen in my life that I didn't want to deal with and still do not want to deal with. I just came back from a visit with my grandmother who is at the mass general hospital in Boston dying. She raised me through my teen years and did her very best with my sister and I and just seeing her is a big trigger for me. If she passes I'm going to have to find a way to keep the needle form my arm because I know how much pain will be there when this inevitable event occurs. If anyone has any suggestions email me. dddorato@gmail.com
I'm sure I'm not the only one in the world that is going through a death during recovery and I would love some feed back. My advise to anyone that reads my blog is that if you are an addict, find out what your triggers are because its very important to know what sets you off so you can avoid those situations so you can stay clean even if it is for the day, the hour or even a minute. Love yourself, Love the people that love you and stay sober for yourself.